Seriously. I can’t. I just can’t. As I speak, I am writing this in between the pukefest my 7 year old decided to host. Normally I would just take it as it goes and hope we all don’t get it. But this year has been a virtual boxing match in which my family has repeatedly been knocked down by just about every single germ that has ever existed. It began in September when I had the stomach flu in which I gave my husband my blessing to remarry because I just knew I was dying! In between the pain and agony I made him promise me he’d be good to my dog. I’m not sure why I was so concerned about my dog’s well- being because he would literally run past the bathroom door as I moaned for sweet release. To my surprise I lived to tell the horror of that experience.
In October, both girls were sick with a cold. No biggie. It happens every year at the beginning of the school year. Life goes on. Thanksgiving was rough. I had a sinus infection and Julia ran her yearly fever with no explanation as to why.
Then Christmas break. I still can’t go there. I spent the entire break on the couch recovering from what could only be concluded as the plague. The doctor told me it was strep, an ear infection and sinus infection. I think they were wrong though. I’m pretty sure my body was taken over by another life form and being used for experimental purposes. So once again I gave my husband my blessing, but this time to pull the plug. I was 100% sure I was a goner then. When the only possible remedy you can imagine is a head transplant it starts looking a bit bleak. Again, my beloved dog wouldn’t go near me. Why do I love him so much?
January, Mia had the stomach flu. January, Julia had the stomach flu. January, I had a head cold. February, Mia had a cold virus. February, Julia had a cold virus. February, I had an ear infection and strep throat. March. Thank you March! Something about this month brings the promise of warmer weather soon to come and the end of germs. Wrong. I am on week 2 of no voice, a cough and runny nose. Oh, and did I mention my Julia is puking? I give up!!! Throw me a bone someone!!!