Throw Me a Bone

Seriously. I can’t.  I just can’t.  As I speak, I am writing this in between the pukefest my 7 year old decided to host.  Normally I would just take it as it goes and hope we all don’t get it.  But this year has been a virtual boxing match in which my family has repeatedly been knocked down by just about every single germ that has ever existed.  It began in September when I had the stomach flu in which I gave my husband my blessing to remarry because I just knew I was dying!  In between the pain and agony I made him promise me he’d be good to my dog.  I’m not sure why I was so concerned about my dog’s well- being because he would literally run past the bathroom door as I moaned for sweet release.   To my surprise I lived to tell the horror of that experience.

In October, both girls were sick with a cold. No biggie. It happens every year at the beginning of the school year. Life goes on. Thanksgiving was rough.  I had a sinus infection and Julia ran her yearly fever with no explanation as to why.

Then Christmas break. I still can’t go there.  I spent the entire break on the couch recovering from what could only be concluded as the plague. The doctor told me it was strep, an ear infection and sinus infection.  I think they were wrong though.  I’m pretty sure my body was taken over by another life form and being used for experimental purposes.  So once again I gave my husband my blessing, but this time to pull the plug.  I was 100% sure I was a goner then.  When the only possible remedy you can imagine is a head transplant it starts looking a bit bleak.  Again, my beloved dog wouldn’t go near me. Why do I love him so much?

January, Mia had the stomach flu. January, Julia had the stomach flu.  January, I had a head cold. February, Mia had a cold virus. February, Julia had a cold virus. February, I had an ear infection and strep throat.  March. Thank you March! Something about this month brings the promise of warmer weather soon to come and the end of germs.  Wrong.  I am on week 2 of no voice, a cough and runny nose.  Oh, and did I mention my Julia is puking?  I give up!!!  Throw me a bone someone!!!



  1. helamin · March 6, 2017

    Awwww! You guys just can’t catch a break! Many cool things about this slice- the boxing metaphor, the dog humor, your circular ending…. Hope she Julia feels better soon!


  2. nbressanelli · March 7, 2017

    Ugh nasty germs are the worse, I love how you gave your husband permission to remarry and pull the plug. Hope March gets better for you and your family.


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