This January, I became the mother of a teenager. Not just any teenager, but a girl teenager. The drama, the tears, the appalling looks, the hormones and the feeling of always doing something wrong is just about killing me already! It’s emotional for sure and I’m lucky to have a pretty easy kid! The past few months have made me realize the hell my awkward adolescence put on my parents.
Things that used to be hysterical to my daughter now bring the risk of sudden death. She used to laugh at my singing and silly dancing but now I get a look of “Why are you trying to ruin my life?” Cheesy jokes used to bring on belly laughs but now the only reaction I get is a “You’re so lame mom.” That one hurt. Who doesn’t think knock knock jokes are to die for?? Now I know how my Dad felt when he would retell one of his 3 recycled jokes and I would shoot him down. Sorry Dad.
It never fails. Regardless of what the situation, if she thinks I’m in the wrong there is no changing her life. Even if common sense and logic are on my side….I’m still wrong. Perfect example. Every morning I drop my girls off at school. It is usually uneventful. It’s the only non-hectic part of our morning! On this particular morning, I pull into the parking lot. Julia is quiet in the back seat but alert and looking out the window for her teacher. Mia on the other hand has never been as tired in her life as she is at that moment. At least that’s what she said about 6 times. She’s using all of her energy to just stay upright. I pull up to the drop off and there are a few cars ahead of us.
“Girls. Do you want me to pull up or do you want to get out now?” I ask.
“Let’s get out now! I see Mrs. Reid!” yells Julia.
“Nooooo. Can you pull up? I don’t want to get out” Mia groans, as she scrunches up her face to fit her mood .
“Ok. I’ll pull up” I said.
I start moving the car forward when out of nowhere Mia jumps up, opens her door and starts to exit the car.
“There’s Liz! There’s Liz!” Mia yells as she spots her best friend walking towards the school doors.
“MIA!!!!! The car is MOVING!!!” I yell as I grab her arm to keep her from leaving the car.
“Moooom. Stop” whines Mia. She’s giving me the “you’re so lame” look.
“Mia! The car was moving! You tried to leave a moving vehicle!” I snap back.
“Moooom. Stop.” Mia whines again. The look.
“Mia! The car wasn’t stopped! You could have been hurt!” I scolded. I’m trying to reason with her. Surely she’ll get it.
“Mooom. Stop.” There’s that look again.
Is this all she can say?
The car stops. Both girls get out. Mia finds her friend and Julia finds Mrs. Reid.
I drive off and can’t help but feel like I did something wrong. How the hell could she possibly be mad at me??? And why do I feel like a child who’s been reprimanded? And shouldn’t Mia feel like this instead of me??? And why does my head hurt???
God help me!
Life, Love and Everything Else 
Oh boy! I’m not looking forward to this at all. We have a ten year old girl and I feel it coming. Ugh.
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Bless your heart. You did the right thing and when your daughter is a mom with a teenager, she too, will look back at the grief she caused her mom. Hang in there… 🙂
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My son does give me the occasional look as to say, “Why are you talking to me right now?” It does drive me crazy when they both think they know more than 2 adults!!! It’s funny how life has a way of making a complete circle. My mom use to say that she wished I had a child just like me. Luckily for me, I have two boys so I don’t have to deal with as much drama.
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I know what you mean about the “why are you talking to me” look! It’s her permanent look these days. Haha!
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The older of our two daughters is twelve, but we feel like she’s been a teenager for about two years. This year things really got bad. She transitioned to junior high, which is enough agony, and then we caved and finally gave her a cell phone, which only makes us more annoying. I know exactly what you mean about not being able to reason with your daughter; at times like that, it’s as if our daughter is suddenly a different species. She is in a vortex of irrationality and cannot dig herself out of it, no matter what. We’ve started to try to disengage at those moments, because it seems the only thing that gets her back to normal (which is still generally grumpy) is time.
Despite all this, she’s still a really awesome kid, and I’m sure Mia is, too.
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If Mia wasn’t a good kid this would be impossible!
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Oh it starts earlier than it should. I just hope it doesn’t last too long!
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Oh, your post brings back memories. My daughters are now 27 and 21 and I can tell you there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Parenting teens can be very challenging!
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